Dear Advertisers,
I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television.
We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter,
resentful individuals who remember the good old days when entertainment
was bland and inoffensive. The following is a list of words I never
want to hear on television again. Number one: Bra. Number two:
Horny.
Number three: Family Jewels.
-- Grampa Simpson, "Bart the General"
If I could read your mind, love,
What a tale your thoughts could tell
Just like a paperback novel,
The kind the drugstore sells,
When you reach the part where the heartaches come,
The hero would be me,
Heroes often fail,
You won't read that book again, because
the ending is just too hard to take....
