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• You know, we've won awards for this crap. -- David Letterma
• You know you lead a sad life when the girls who get around never get around to you.
• You will never know hunger.
• You never know what you know!
• Do you know what prizes the communists are now offering for recruiting new party members?
  If you get one new member, you don't pay dues. Two new members, you can quit the party....
• Never get married in the morning--you never know who you might meet that night. -- Paul Hornung
• If you have never failed, you probably will not succeed, because even if you do, you won't know it.