Related:

• You can't expect a mother to be with a small child all the time
  Margaret Mead once remarked, with her usual good sense, but in 1978 she shocked feminists by snapping that women don't really have children to put them in day care twelve hours a day, either....
• Naches (rhymes with Bach' us, with "Bach" pronounced like the composer) is what every Jewish parent wants from their children, lots of good returns, good grades, good spouse, good grandchildren.
  So, now that you all understand naches, the joke...
• I listen to feminists and all these radical gals -- most of them are failures.
  They've blown it. Some of them have been married, but they married some Casper Milquetoast who asked permission to go to the bathroom....
• Marge: We've always tried to be good parents. Please!
  I'm begging you, one mother to another. You must have a family?...
• Two parent drops spent months teaching their son how to be part of the ocean.
  After months of training, the father drop commented to the mother drop, "We've taught our boy everything we know, he's fit to be tide....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• A mother mouse was taking her large brood for a stroll across the kitchen floor one day when the local cat, by a feat of stealth unusual even for its species, managed to trap them in a corner.
  The children cowered, terrified by this fearsome beast, plaintively crying, "Help, Mother!...
• Life in the twentieth century is like a parachute jump
  you have to get it right the first time. -- Margaret Mead...
• How many feminists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Two, one to change it and one to tell her she did a really good job....