Related:

• You will be singled out for promotion in your work.
• Be sociable. Speak to the person next to you in the unemployment line tomorrow.
• TRANSFER: A promotion you receive on the condition that you leave town.
• The day your life sucks and you put a gun in your mouth
  2 minutes later they'll have your lotto numbers on the TV, some hot chick will call you and ask you out, your boss will call in with a promotion and your parents will call and apologize for making childhood suck....