Related:

• You have junk mail.
• Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent.
• Avoid junk mail, get an unlisted ZIP code!
• The more important the communication and the more urgent the need, the more likely it is that communication gets lost in the mail.
  You've never heard of junk mail getting lost in the mail, have you?...
• You know you've been hacking too long when... ...you get snail mail, and you think to your self "You have new mail on node "your_address" from user "name_on_the_frank".
• When you are ready to reply to a letter, you will lack at least one of the following
  (a) A pen or pencil or typewriter. (b) Stationery....
• Hale Mail Rule, The: When you are ready to reply to a letter, you will lack at least one of the following
  (a) A pen or pencil or typewriter. (b) Stationery....