Related:

• It always does seem to me that I am doing more work than I should do.
  It is not that I object to the work, mind you; I like work...
• Bart: [sharpening knives] Dad, start diggin' some nerd holes!
  Lisa: [plaintively] It's bad enough that they put their retainers in the dishwashe...
• Bart: So, Mr. Itchy, you think you're God's gift to women, do you?
  Lisa: Don't do it, Bart. [Bart pulls a stink bomb from his "Li'l Bastard Traveling Kit" and slingshots it straight into Itchy's mouth] Itchy...
• Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: Because they get their head stuck in the jars.
  Q: Why do blondes wear underwear? A: To keep their ankles warm....
• This is what I do for fun, can you imagine my job?
• Those who can, do. Those that can't criticize.
• Those who can, do. Those who can't, write. Those who can't write work for the Bell Labs Record.
• Those who can, do; those who can't, write. Those who can't write work for the Bell Labs Record.
• Those who can, do; those who can't, write. Those who can't write go to the State Department.