Related:

• If it's so safe to fly, why do they give you an hour of instructions when you get on the plane?
  Have safety instructions where you know it's dangerous to travel--like the New York City subway system....
• To avoid trouble, breathe through the nose; it keeps the mouth shut.
• Seems just like yesterday . . . Hey! It was!
• If today you can take a thing like evolution and make it a crime to teach in the public school
  omorrow you can make it a crime to teach it in the private schools and next year you can make it a crime to teach it to the hustings or in the church....
• As you try, your hand seems to go through it.
• You have been my friends, that in itself is a tremendous thing... -- E. B. White
• Microsoft Mandatory Survey (#9) Customers who want to upgrade to Windows 98 Second Edition must now fill out a Microsoft survey online before they can order the bugfix/upgrade.
  Question 9: Which of the following do you prefer as a replacement for the current Microsoft slogan?...
• You are at a business lunch when you are suddenly overcome with an uncontrollable desire to pick your nose.
  Since this is definitely a no-no, you: (a) Pretend to wave to someone across the room and with one fluid motion, bury your forefinger in your nostril right up to the 4th joint....