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• When I speak to you about myself, I am speaking to you about yourself.
  How is it you don't see that? -- Victor Hugo...
• My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.
• An eighty-year-old woman is rocking away the afternoon on her porch when she sees an old, tarnished lamp sitting near the steps.
  She picks it up, rubs it gently, and lo and behold a genie appears!...
• When dictatorship is a fact, revolution becomes a right. -- Victor Hugo (1802-1885)
• When you have finished your daily toil, go to bed and sleep in peace.
  God is still awake. -- Victor Hugo (1802-1885)...
• Two women were talking about that recent birth of quintuplets.
  One woman says, "Did you know that happens only once in four million times?...
• To reform a man, you must begin with his grandmother. -- Victor Hugo
• Did you hear about the woman who hates her husband so much that she closes her eyes during intercourse because she doesn't want to see him enjoying himself.
• There's the commercial on TV where the woman is smelling her clothes.
  She says, "They smell as fresh as all outdoors!" Is that ridiculous?...