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• The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. "Where shall I begin, please your Majesty ?
  he asked. "Begin at the beginning,", the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end...
• DIARY, n. A daily record of that part of one's life, which he can relate to himself without blushing.
  Hearst kept a diary wherein were writ All that he had of wisdom and of wit....
• The soldier came knocking upon the queen's door He said, "I am not fighting for you anymore" The queen knew she had seen his face someplace before And slowly she let him inside.
  He said, "I see you now, and you're so very young But I've seen more battles lost than I have battles won And I have this intuition that it's all for your fun And now will you tell me why?...
• Many writers are bad at being promiscuous with women, from the certainty of knowing how the affair will end before it has even begun.
  -- Andrew Sinclair, "No Man More Magical...
• FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
  #16 Relationships: First of all, a man does not call a relationship a relationship -- he refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie were doing it on a semi-regular basis"....
• One of the special beauties of America is that it is the only country in the world where you are not advised to learn the language before entering.
  Before I ever set out for the United States, I asked a friend if I should study American....
• Fortune's Guide to Freshman Notetaking: WHEN THE PROFESSOR SAYS
  YOU WRITE: Probably the greatest quality of the poetry John Milton -- born 1608 of John Milton, who was born in 1608, is the combination of beauty and power....
• Homer: Lisa, you like homework. Could you fill out this form for me?
  Lisa: Well, all right. If you'll listen to the poem I just wrote....
• The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.
  -- Sir Richard F. Burto...