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• Heh, heh, Imagine me in a nuclear power plant. KaBOOM!
  -- Homer thinks about life after graduation, "The Way We Wa...
• Okay, what on Earth is this one supposed to be used for?
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• The VFW represents many who died to give this country a second chance to make it what it is supposed to be -- God's guest house on earth.
  -- John Wayne...
• If this is supposed to be a kinder and gentler nation, how come my tax refund isn't any bigger than last year.
  By the way, what ever happened to five cent gum?...
• T'ai Chi isn't a martial art--it's a MARTIAN art. Martians move slowly in earth gravity
• Luanne: From now on, forget everything you thought you knew about Luanne Van Houten.
  Marge: Actually, Luanne, I don't really know anything about you....
• Asa pulls the pin, ready to throw the grenade] This one's for you, Kaiser Bill.
  Special delivery from Uncle Sam and all the boys in D company....
• Today is what happened to yesterday.