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• I can prove that if there is life anywhere else in the world, they will have a Marxist economy.
  -- Woody Allen, "Stardust Memorie...
• I would trade that Oscar for one more second of life. -- Woody Allen, "Stardust Memorie
• I had two heart attacks before I bought this exercise bicycle.
  "And since then?" "I've had two more." -- Woody Allen, "Stardust Memorie...
• In America today ... we have Woody Allen, whose humor has become so sophisticated that nobody gets it any more except Mia Farrow.
  All those who think Mia Farrow should go back to making movies where the devil gets her pregnant and Woody Allen should go back to dressing up as a human sperm, please raise your hands....
• In America today ... we have Woody Allen, whose humor has become so sophisticated that nobody gets it any more except Mia Farrow.
  All those who think Mia Farrow should go back to making movies where the devil gets her pregnant and Woody Allen should go back to dressing up as a human sperm, please raise your hands....
• A relationship is like a shark - it has to keep moving forward or it dies.
  Well, what we have on our hands here is a dead shark. -- Woody Alle...
• Infactuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners.
  Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford - but you'll take him anyway....
• Never kill a man, especially if it means taking his life. -- Woody Allen, "Love and Death