Related:

• Thats some bad juju, man. -- R. Marcinko
• LITIGATION, n. A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Wiggum: Hey, everybody, look who's back. It's the biiig baby.
  [childlike] Oh, dis porridge is too hot! Oh, wah-wah-wah!...
• The "CONSUMER REPORT" on the item will come out a week after you buy the item. -- Beryl's Law
• All Good Things Come In Numbers . . .
• Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun.
  But I have never been able to make out the numbers....
• Computers never make mistrakes.
• Your girl is going bad? Low-level format her.
• How come wrong numbers are never busy?