Related:

• Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. -- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
• When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or no
  but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened....
• and before I knew what I was doing, I had kicked the typewriter and threw it around the room and made it beg for mercy.
  At this point the typewriter pleaded for me to dress him in feminine attire but instead I pressed his margin release over and over again until the typewriter lost consciousness....
• Mark Twain had it right, of course.
• I never respected a man who could spell. -- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
• Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. -- Mark Twain (1835-1910)