Related:

• NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi.
  The leader of the school is Tolstoi. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ARCHITECT, n. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Coward, n.: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• DRAMATIST, n. One who adapts plays from the French. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• IMMIGRANT, n. An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MARTYR, n. One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...