Related:

• Hospitality, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• WINE, n. Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum.
  Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• FORGETFULNESS, n. A gift of God bestowed upon doctors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LEGACY, n. A gift from one who is legging it out of this vale of tears.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• RESTITUTIONS, n. The founding or endowing of universities and public libraries by gift or bequest.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ARTLESSNESS, n. A certain engaging quality to which women attain by long study and severe practice upon the admiring male, who is pleased to fancy it resembles the candid simplicity of his young.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PATIENCE, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...