Related:

• Translations from the Child: "I don't know why. He just hit me.
  He hit his brother. "I didn't hit him. I just sort of pushed him....
• Translations from the Husband part 2 of 2: "I don't want to talk about it" He doesn't want you to talk about it anymore.
  Please. "The subject is closed." He'll bring you some flowers....
• Windows 95 never has bugs. It just develops random features.
• Caller: I just installed Windows 95 on my computer.
  Tech Support: And...? Caller: It's not working. Tech Support: You already said that....
• You Might be a Microsoft Employee If... 1. When a Microsoft program crashes for the millionth time, you say "Oh, well!
  and reboot without any negative thoughts 2. The Windows 95 startup screen (the clouds) makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside 3....
• You will be tested on the above material!
• Translations from the Husband part 1 of 2: "There's not one clean shirt" He's looking in the underwear drawer "I don't know what you're talking about" He knows what you're talking abou
  but he doesn't know what you're saying about what you're talking about....
• A book is the work of a mind, doing its work in the way that a mind deems best.
  That's dangerous. Is the work of some mere individual mind likely to serve the aims of collectively accepted compromises, which are known in the schools as 'standards'?...
• We've just recieved the results of a survey conducted to ascertain the various reasons men get out of bed in the middle of the night.
  According to the report, 2% are motivated by a desire to visit the bathroom, and 3% have an urge to raid the refrigerator....