Related:

• I had another bad hair day today. The government was in it.
• Lovejoy: Before I get started on today's sermon entitled, "What Ned Did," I'd like to congratulate Homer Simpsons on his recent charity work.
  [everyone claps politely] Homer: [kisses audience] I live to give!...
• Today is your lucky day.
• Feminists give women a bad name.
• Today is an excellent day to have a rotten day.
• Today is a day for making firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?
• Today is a good day for a departmental reorganization.
• Today is the first day of the rest of this mess.
• Today is the first day of the rest of the me