TIE
Useless piece of clothing, usually worn by men. For this reason the
tie is often seen as a phallic symbol, but in fact it was devised
as a substitute to prevent men being irritated by not being able to
rub their own chest hair. The tie is therefore seen as the symbol
of sophisticated man, an evolving species, with no time for the
troglodytes of yesterday. "Ug, me no fondle chest hair. Me fondle
tie instead. Tie good. Me fiddle with knot."
-- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA
