Related:

• It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois.
• When in doubt, ask Clinton. Then do the opposite!
• Mary had a little lamb; ...that's what she gets for sleeping in a barn.
• You ask what a nice girl will do? She won't give an inch, but she won't say no.
• You ask what a nice girl will do? She won't give an inch, but she won't say no.
  -- Marcus Valerius Martiali...
• Then there's my fat, obnoxious cousin, Roweena. When she walks through the living room, the radio skips.
  She says she just retains water, and I say, "So does the Hoover Dam." -- Jeff Foxworthy...
• At about 2500 A.D., humankind discovers a computer problem that *must* be solved.
  The only difficulty is that the problem is NP complete and will take thousands of years even with the latest optical biologic technology available....