Related:

• There's a new birth-control pill for women. You put it between your knees and keep it there.
  -- Bill Barne...
• Smithers: Are you sure you want to go through with this, Sir?
  You _do_ have a very full wardrobe as it is....
• The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men.
  Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, add ten per cent more....
• Gun control makes everyone criminals.
• It always does seem to me that I am doing more work than I should do.
  It is not that I object to the work, mind you; I like work...
• An elderly man stands in line for hours at a Warsaw meat store (meat is severely rationed).
  When the butcher comes out at the end of the day and announces that there is no meat left, the man flies into a rage....
• Stop Dave. You're hurting me Dave. Look, I know you're really upset now.
  Why don't you sit down and take a stress pill and think things overrr......
• Criminals love gun control. It makes their job easier.
• Why do you think they call it birth **CONTROL**?