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• My ATM just asked me if I wanted to go double or nothing!
• When Alexander asked Diogenes whether he wanted anything, "Yes," said he, "I would have you stand from between me and the sun.
  -- Plutarch (46-120 AD) -- Life of Alexande...
• The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys.
  I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while....
• One evening he spoke. Sitting at her feet, his face raised to her, he allowed his soul to be heard.
  My darling, anything you wish, anything I am, anything I can ever be....
• When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise.
  She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder....
• You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before, And make errors few people could bea
  You complain about everyone's English but yours -- Do you really think this is quite fair?...
• There is nothing which cannot be answered by means of my doctrine, said a monk, coming into a teahouse where Nasrudin sat.
  And yet just a short time ago, I was challenged by a scholar with an unanswerable question, said Nasrudin....
• There is nothing which cannot be answered by means of my doctrine," said a monk, coming into a teahouse where Nasrudin sat.
  And yet just a short time ago, I was challenged by a scholar with an unanswerable question," said Nasrudin....