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• There are lots of good women who, when they get to heaven, will watch to see if the Lord goes out nights.
  -- Ed Howe...
• The more you hate a song, the harder it will be to get that song out of your head.
• If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.
  -- Ed Howe...
• Be careful, and you will save many men from the sin of robbing you. -- Ed Howe
• When you can't do anything else to a boy, you can make him wash his face. -- Ed Howe
• You may easily play a joke on a man who likes to argue -- agree with him. -- Ed Howe
• I will iron your sheets when you iron out the inequities in your labor laws.
  Amen, sister. -- Lisa reads the inscription on the Winifred Beecher Howe Memorial, "Mr....