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• The sergeant walked into the shower and caught me giving myself a dishonorable discharge.
  Without missing a beat, I said, "It's my dick and I can wash it as fast as I want!...
• The shower is the greatest invention. I don't like to take a bath.
  I don't like to wash my face in the water I've been sitting in. -- Lewis Grizzard...
• A skeleton walked into a bar and said, Hi, can I have a beer and a mop?
• When I think about myself, I almost laugh myself to death
  My life has been one great big joke, Sixty years in these folks' world A dance that's walked The child I works for calls me girl A song that's spoke, I say "Yes ma'am" for working's sake....
• Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.
• Lisa: Bart, I know you're not wild about having me for a babysitter, but I'm not some ogre.
  I think you will find me fair and fun. Ba...
• Just a few of the perfect excuses for having some strawberry shortcake.
  Pick one. 1: It's less calories than two pieces of strawberry shortcake....