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• What a hell of a heaven it will be, when they get all these hypocrites assembled there!
  -- Mark Twai...
• You'll never get to heaven if you pay a lawyer.
• A mind not to be chang'd by place or time. The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.
  What matter where, if I be still the same, And what I should be, all but less than he Whom thunder hath made greater?...
• May you never develop stomach trouble from too rich a diet.
• If you keep your eyes so fixed on heaven that you never look at the earth, you will stumble into hell.
  -- Austin O'Malley...
• Remember, cat heaven is mouse hell.
• No man was ever taken to hell by a woman unless he already had a ticket in his pocket, or at least had been fooling around with timetables.
  -- Archie Goodwi...
• May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid.
• Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. -- Mark Twai