Related:

• One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay.
  I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eight grade through college level....
• Television is a wonderful thing, and since it came along, I hardly ever watch my radio anymore.
  Television has done much for psychiatry by making everyone aware of it....
• Will: "Roses are red, Violets are Blue. Jazz and I are black, But, Carlton, what are you?
  Excerpt from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Ai...
• Why don't I get fresh air when I open a Window?
• I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind
  yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers. Kahlil Gibra...
• When I was made presidential press secretary my father sent me a telegram
  "Always tell the truth. If you can't always tell the truth, don't lie." -- Bill Moye...
• And all that the Lorax left here in this mess was a small pile of rocks with the one word, "unless.
  Whatever THAT meant, well, I just couldn't guess....
• Edna: Good news, people! [the other teachers cheer] I'm happy to announce that another union has joined us in a sympathy strike
  he piano tuners' Local 412! [the teachers look at one another, confused] [a piano tuner stands outside a house with an out-of-tune piano and looks smug] Ba...
• The only thing I ever learned from experience was that I'd just made another mistake.