Related:

• Two great Tennesseans: Charlie and Jack Daniels.
• Two men jump from an airplane. The first pulls the cord--and the chute works perfectly.
  The second pulls the cord--and nothing happens. He keeps falling straight down....
• Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier.
• A new author attempted to get an older author to read his works simply by sending them to the older man.
  The older author read what was sent and replied that the work was both interesting and original, but unfortunately, that which was original was not interesting and that which was interesting was not original....
• The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy .
  .. neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water....
• The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy.
  .. neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water....
• There are two ways to handle women, and I know neither.
• Homer: You didn't expect that, did you. And neither will he.
  Bart: You mean that I should fight dirty, Dad? Home...