Related:

• Modern Tree Watches" by Anna Log
• My boy is mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms to the sidewalk, he sits there and watches the birds get hernias.
  Well, only last Christmas I gave him a B-B gun and he gave me a sweatshirt with a bulls-eye on the back....
• Why do the caterpillar and the ant have to be enemies?
  One eats leaves, and the other eats caterpillars....
• Segal's Law A man with one watch knows what time it i
  a man with two watches is never sure....
• A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never quite sure.
• Four... three... two... one... Bing! We have meatloaf!
  -- Homer watches dinner cook in the microwave, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish...
• There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire.
  The other is to get it. -- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), "Man and Superma...
• When I see the Ferris wheels and swings and other toys on sale in pet shops for birds, I can't help feeling it's just a waste of money.
  We had two very happy birds and we never thought of buying them anything to play with....
• Fan-fugu-tastic! -- Homer eats some fugu, "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish