Related:

• Collects cards for Craig.
• The only accident [at Three Mile Island] is that this thing leaked out.
  You could have avoided this whole thing by not saying anything....
• Who owns a reg version of Telix? Craig Humphrey does :-)
• When I was a little boy, I wanted to be a baseball player, and join the circus.
  With the Yankees, I've accomplished both. -- Craig Nettles, New York Yankees Third Basema...
• I lurk quietly and carry a big ON/OFF switch!
• Many daters just eat pork chops and French fries and talk about love.
  -- What do most people do on a date?? -- Craig, AGE 9...
• here are about 5,000 people who are part of that commitee.
  These guys have a hard time sorting out what day to meet, and whether to eat croissants or doughnuts for breakfast -- let alone how to define how all these complex layers that are going to be agreed upon....
• Lisa: Hey, Dad. Whatcha doin'? Homer: Daddy has very important work to do.
  He's looking through the want ads to find a part-time job....
• I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building.
  ..I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet....