Related:

• Kauffman's First Law of Airports: The distance to the gate is inversely proportional to the time available to catch your flight.
• The distance to the gate is inversely proportional to the time available to catch your flight.
  -- Kauffman's First Law of Airpo...
• Everything comes to him who waits - and in an airport it is usually the voice over the public address system announcing that your flight has been cancelled.
• The number of taxis at an airport is inversely proportional to the number of flights arriving.
  -- The Third Law Of Air Travel...
• The amount of time saved by your plane arriving early at your destination is equal to the amount of extra time you have to wait for your luggage.
  -- The Second Law Of Air Travel...
• When you are served a meal aboard an aircraft, the aircraft will encounter turbulence.
  Gunter's First Law of Air Travel...
• A modification of the Delta motto we used after a Delta flight crashed on approach at the Dallas-Fort Worth International Airpo
  Delta---We almost got you there...
• Flight Reservation systems decide whether or not you exist.
  If your information isn't in their database, then you simply don't get to go anywhere....
• Good afternoon, this is your captain speaking. I would like to remind you that according to FAA regulations, this flight has been declared a non smoking flight.
  If you absolutely must light up, you are invited to step outside....