Related:

• How many Christians -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  200!!! 100 to sit in church and pray long sonorous prayers for it to see the light again, 10 to stand on street corners and point out to others how that if they don't accept what they're being told, their light might go out as well, 3 to try and exorcise the demon of darkness out of the light bulb, 2 to gather together in "the name of the lord" because where two or more are gathered together in "his" name....
• How many election canvassers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None. They'd just go round telling everyone that it's time for a change but the only way this can come about is if everyone votes for "New light bulb....
• kluge /klooj/ [from the German `klug', clever; poss.
  related to Polish `klucz' (a key, a hint, a main point)] 1....
• Selma: It's time to give away my love like so much cheap wine.
  Homer: Take it to the hoop, Selma! -- Homer Simpson Principal Charming...
• Homer: There's only one thing worse than being a loser.
  It's being one of those guys who sits in a bar telling a story of how he became a loser, and I never want that to happen to me....
• Nothing is really so satisfying as telling a hypochondriac how healthy he looks.
• Taylor's Law of Tailoring: No matter how many alterations, cheap pants never fit.
• How long is a short story?
• How many IRC chatters -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None. They're so busy saying hello, goodbye, and kicking each other off that noone ever has enough time to get anything done !...