Related:

• Given a choice between two bald political candidates, the American people will vote for the less bald of the two.
  -- Vic Gold...
• Our crude civilization engenders a multitude of wants, and law-givers are ever at their wit's end devising.
  The hall and the theater and the church have been invented, and compulsory education....
• Be American, Buy American - and CHARGE IT!
• That's not my stomach, my stomach is this basketball shaped thing that holds my pants up.
  -- Doodle, American Eagle in Roger Ramje...
• The American nation in the sixth ward is a fine people
  hey love the eagle -- on the back of a dollar. -- Finlay Peter Dunne...
• All the baby birds are dead.
• Nuke the gay, unborn, baby whales for Jesus.
• What is an unborn baby? Daddies' Little Squirt.
• A ranger was walking through the forest and encountered a hunter carrying a shotgun and a dead loon.
  What in the world do you think you're doing? Don't you know that the loon is on the endagered species list?...