Related:

• Great wits jump. -- Laurence Sterne (1713-1768) -- Tristram Shandy, Vol. iii, Chap. ix
• I am sick as a horse. -- Laurence Sterne (1713-1768) -- Tristram Shandy, Vol. vii, Chap. xi
• Of all the cants which are canted in this canting world, though the cant of hypocrites may be the worst, the cant of criticism is the most tormenting!
  -- Laurence Sterne (1713-1768) -- Tristram Shandy, Vol. iii, Chap. xii...
• Our armies swore terribly in Flanders," cried my Uncle Toby, "but nothing to this.
  -- Laurence Sterne (1713-1768) -- Tristram Shandy, Vol. iii, Chap. xi...
• Go, poor devil, get thee gone! Why should I hurt thee?
  This world surely is wide enough to hold both thee and me....
• DIARY, n. A daily record of that part of one's life, which he can relate to himself without blushing.
  Hearst kept a diary wherein were writ All that he had of wisdom and of wit....
• Three fellas up in heaven. St. Peter's interviewing them.
  He says to the first guy, "How did you get up here in heaven?...
• Large was his bounty, and his soul sincere, Heaven did a recompense as largely send
  He gave to mis'ry (all he had) a tear, He gained from Heav'n ('t was all he wish'd) a friend....
• He gave his honours to the world again, His blessed part to heaven, and slept in peace.
  -- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), King Henry VIII -- Act iv, Sc. 2...