Related:

• IN'ARDS, n. The stomach, heart, soul and other bowels.
  Many eminent investigators do not class the soul as an in'ard, but that acute observer and renowned authority, Dr....
• Man, n.: An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.
  His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada....
• ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude -- a privation appealing with a particular eloquence to all that is sympathetic in human nature.
  When young the orphan is commonly sent to an asylum, where by careful cultivation of its rudimentary sense of locality it is taught to know its place....
• ELECTRICITY, n. The power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
  It is the same thing as lightning, and its famous attempt to strike Dr....
• MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women.
  As in Rome Christians were thrown to the lions, so centuries earlier in Otumwee, the most ancient and famous city of the world, female heretics were thrown to the mice....
• LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system -- an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy
  but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males....
• Man, n.: An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks e is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.
  His hief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own pecies, which, however, multiplies with such insistent apidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada....
• J is a consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel -- than which nothing could be more absurd.
  Its original form, which has been but slightly modified, was that of the tail of a subdued dog, and it was not a letter but a character, standing for a Latin verb, _jacere_, "to throw," because when a stone is thrown at a dog the dog's tail assumes that shape....