MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women. As in
Rome Christians were thrown to the lions, so centuries earlier in
Otumwee, the most ancient and famous city of the world, female
heretics were thrown to the mice. Jakak-Zotp, the historian, the only
Otumwump whose writings have descended to us, says that these martyrs
met their death with little dignity and much exertion. He even
attempts to exculpate the mice (such is the malice of bigotry) by
declaring that the unfortunate women perished, some from exhaustion,
some of broken necks from falling over their own feet, and some from
lack of restoratives. The mice, he avers, enjoyed the pleasures of
the chase with composure. But if "Roman history is nine-tenths
lying," we can hardly expect a smaller proportion of that rhetorical
figure in the annals of a people capable of so incredible cruelty to a
lovely women; for a hard heart has a false tongue.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Rome Christians were thrown to the lions, so centuries earlier in
Otumwee, the most ancient and famous city of the world, female
heretics were thrown to the mice. Jakak-Zotp, the historian, the only
Otumwump whose writings have descended to us, says that these martyrs
met their death with little dignity and much exertion. He even
attempts to exculpate the mice (such is the malice of bigotry) by
declaring that the unfortunate women perished, some from exhaustion,
some of broken necks from falling over their own feet, and some from
lack of restoratives. The mice, he avers, enjoyed the pleasures of
the chase with composure. But if "Roman history is nine-tenths
lying," we can hardly expect a smaller proportion of that rhetorical
figure in the annals of a people capable of so incredible cruelty to a
lovely women; for a hard heart has a false tongue.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
Related:
- HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant,
which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and... - NOSE, n. The extreme outpost of the face. From the circumstance that
great conquerors have great noses,
Getius, whose writings antedate the age of humor, calls... - Inadmissible: Not competent to be considered. Said of certain kinds of
testimony which juries are supposed to be unfit to be entrusted with,
and which judges, therefore, rule out, even of proceedings... - most of us learned about love the hard way. Even warnings are probably
useless,
for somehow, despite the severest warnings of parents... - BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age,
sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence... - And no philosophy, sadly, has all the answers. No matter how assured
we may be about certain aspects of our belief,
there are always painful inconsistencies, exceptions... - ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom,
including its king, the House Fly (_Musca maledicta_)... - Gibson's Springtime Song (to the tune of "Deck the Halls"):
'Tis the season to chase mousies (Fa la la la la, la... - bug n.
An unwanted and unintended property of a program or
piece of hardware,
esp. one that causes it to malfunction. Antonym...
From the same category:
- I come in peace. I only seek alcohol, men,
and hockey... - Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible impossible.
Javier Pascual... - Let me tell you something. As we were walking around in the store,
Marilyn and I were just really impressed by all the... - The air is positively magic in here.
Better wear a negative armor... - New brome swepth cleene.
-- John Heywood (c. 1565)
-
Proverbes, Part ii, Chap....
