Related:

• Abasement, n. A decent and customary mental attitude in the presence of wealth or power.
  Peculiarly appropriate in an employee when addressing an employer....
• While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands you are safe, for you can watch both of his.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• DISABUSE, v.t. The present your neighbor with another and better error than the one which he has deemed it advantageous to embrace.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LONGANIMITY, n. The disposition to endure injury with meek forbearance while maturing a plan of revenge.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PHILANTHROPIST, n. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Heaven, n.: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound your own.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...