Related:

• I never read other people's mail.
• Homer: I'll get our letter so wet, the ink will run and no one will be able to read it!
  Bart: Yeah, but don't other people have mail in there?...
• I had time to read mail before I wrote a mail reader...
• POW: the Perfectly Obvious Way to read your mail!
• What me worry? I read relay mail.
• You had mail, but the super-user read it, and deleted it!
• Stealing people's mail on a Friday night.
• One thing to be said for not saying anything is that it is not going to be on some bulletin board somewhere
  aking up space and bothering people who feel an urge to read everything on bulletin boards....