She Meant Absolutely Nothing To Me. Realizing, Suddenly, After So Many Years, That Whatever Happens I Shall Never See Her Again, I Nearly Collapsed.

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She meant absolutely nothing to me. Realizing, suddenly, after so many
years, that whatever happens I shall never see her again, I nearly
collapsed. We understand what death is only by suddenly remembering the
face of someone who has been a matter of indifference to us.
-- E.M. Cioran