Related:

• The next time you go to a really swank restaurant where the prices are high and you feel inferior, try checking the gum underneath the tables.
  You'll find out that them what has been there before chews the same awful stuff you chew....
• If you ever want to sleep over, Maude and I can sleep on card tables.
  -- Ned Flanders, "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?...
• See if the man has lipstick on his face. -- How can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love?
  -- Sandra, age 7...
• While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands you are safe, for you can watch both of his.
• Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love.
  -- How can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love? -- Bobby, age 9...
• It is when you take for yourself that you truly take.
• Can you yell "yIHmey!" in a crowded Klingon restaurant?
• Cats flattened while you watch. -- Bumpersticke