Related:

• KORAN, n. A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ADHERENT, n. A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PLAUDITS, n. Coins with which the populace pays those who tickle and devour it.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• AUCTIONEER, n. The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ERUDITION, n. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
  So wide his erudition's mighty span, He knew Creation's origin and plan And only came by accident to grief -- He thought, poor man, 'twas right to be a thief....
• Birth, n.: The first and direst of all disasters. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary