Related:

• EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• HUMANITY, n. The human race, collectively, exclusive of the anthropoid poets.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• NON-COMBATANT, n. A dead Quaker. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• Riot, n. A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PATIENCE, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.
  (See LOGIC.) -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss.
  It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding...
• AFRICAN, n. A nigger that votes our way. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary