Related:

• INSURRECTION, n. An unsuccessful revolution. Disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ADHERENT, n. A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• AUCTIONEER, n. The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Dejeuner, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris.
  Variously pronounced. -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• EULOGY, n. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• APOSTATE, n. A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• CONSUL, n. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure and office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• GNOSTICS, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists.
  The former would not go into the caucus and the combination failed, greatly to the chagrin of the fusion managers....