Related:

• Most people have two reasons for doing anything -- a good reason, and the real reason.
• Many people get the name of being witty, only to lose the name of being sensible.
• There are many intelligent species in the universe. They all have cats.
• It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem.
  For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much -- the wheel, New York wars and so on -- whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time....
• Grandma: Homer, you grew up so handsome. Homer: Some people say I look like Dan Aykroyd.
  I can't believe you're here! Dad always told me you died while I was at the movies....
• You have many friends and very few enemies.
• Frink: N-hey, I doubt very highly that one elixir could boast so many fantastic properties.
  [drinks some; turns into a handsome man] [smooth voice] What say we am-scray outta here and have a wild wingding at the cyclotron, doctor?...
• If all be true that I do think, There be Five Reasons why one should Drink
  Good friends, good wine, or being dry, Or lest we should be by-and-by, Or any other reason why....