A New Employee: The boss came in and said "I think you are the laziest
person I have ever encountered. You are absolutely worthless. All you do is
take up space.! Tell me one good thing about yourself, one way in which
there is some benefit in keeping you on the payroll?" The employee
responded, "When I go on vacation, you don't have to hire someone to
replace me."
person I have ever encountered. You are absolutely worthless. All you do is
take up space.! Tell me one good thing about yourself, one way in which
there is some benefit in keeping you on the payroll?" The employee
responded, "When I go on vacation, you don't have to hire someone to
replace me."
Related:
- Are you a parent? Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to
say in those awkward situations?
Worry no more... Do as I say, not as I do. Do me a favour and don't tell me about it.... - Everybody but Sam had signed up for a new company pension plan that
called for a small employee contribution.
The company was paying all the rest. Unfortunately, 100% employee participation was needed... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?... - I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside.
I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said.... - Marge: Homer, I really don't like you telling personal secrets in your
class.
Homer: Marge, I didn't tell 'em personal stuff. Marge... - The stop sign which caused this action appeared there recently and was new
to me.
It cause me great alarm and when I am watching its pole, I note the sign is too low for the car, which is why it destroy the windshield.... - Bart: [sleepy] Hello?
Bruno: Right! I'm calling all the way from Squatter's Crog, Australia
and I want to speak to, er, Dr.
Bart Simpson right now. Bart: Uh...[plugs nose] hold, please.... - Bart: Hmm. Maybe if I stand next to the games looking sad, someone
will feel sorry for me and buy me one.
[goes inside, puts hand through hole in display case window and holds a copy of Bonestorm] [his arm gets crushed by an employee opening the case] Woma... - HAGGIS
A Scottish dish made of the heart, lungs, and liver of a sheep,
chopped up with suet, onions, oatmeal etc, seasoned and boiled in a
sheep's stomach-bag or substitute.
I think I'm going to be sick. Have you ever considered the argument that vomit is a lifeform in itself, subject to the same foibles as the rest of lifekind?...
