Related:

• A small farmer on a kibbutz was talking to a big Texan.
  The Texan says, "How big is your farm?" Well, he says, it's 200 feet by 300 feet....
• Pardon me while I fold my pants.
• Pardon my driving, officer, I was trying to reload!
• He thought he saw an Elephant, That practiced on a fife
  He looked again, and found it was A letter from his wife....
• A soldier told Pelopidas, "We are fallen among the enemies.
  Said he, "How are we fallen among them more than they among us?...
• I'm not saying this woman is stupid--but when the wind blows, her forehead buckles in .
  .. And my cousin, well, he wasn't too bright, I guess. Chickens teased him. -- Brett Butle...
• We laugh at the Indian philosopher, who to account for the support of the earth, contrived the hypothesis of a huge elephant, and to support the elephant, a huge tortoise.
  If we will candidly confess the truth, we know as little of the operation of the nerves, as he did of the manner in which the earth is supported...
• Once upon a time, there were five blind men who had the opportunity to experience an elephant for the first time.
  One approached the elephant, and, upon encountering one of its sturdy legs, stated, "Ah, an elephant is like a tree....