Related:

• HOMOEOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• TIGHTS, n. An habiliment of the stage designed to reinforce the general acclamation of the press agent with a particular publicity.
  Public attention was once somewhat diverted from this garment to Miss Lillian Russell's refusal to wear it, and many were the conjectures as to her motive, the guess of Miss Pauline Hall showing a high order of ingenuity and sustained reflection....
• Wit, n.: The salt with which the American Humorist spoils his cookery .
  .. by leaving it out. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• WIT, n. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss.
  It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding...
• MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out to nurse, or use the bottle.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details.
  Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice....
• HEBREW, n. A male Jew, as distinguished from the Shebrew, an altogether superior creation.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...