Related:

• They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing?
  Stay indoors and let 'im bloat! -- David Letterma...
• Picking up the pieces of my sweet shattered dream, I wonder how the old folks are tonight, Her name was Ann, and I'll be damned if I recall her face, She left me not knowing what to do.
  Carefree Highway, let me slip away on you, Carefree Highway, you seen better days, The morning after blues, from my head down to my shoes, Carefree Highway, let me slip away, slip away, on you....
• There is no way to get a grip on a dog so that you can give it a legitimate hug.
  You wind up hugging it around some delicate reproductive organ ....
• I have not lost my mind--it's backed up on disk somewhere.
• You can have a dog as a friend. You can have whiskey as a friend.
  But if you have a woman as a friend, you're going to wind up drunk and kissing your dog....
• COONDOG MEMORY (heard in Rutledge, Missouri, about eighteen years ago) Now
  his dog is for sale, and she can not only follow a trail twice as old as the average dog can, but she's got a pretty good memory to boot....
• I know my own mind ... and it's around here somewhere!
• Backup? I haven't lost my data; it's still in the library somewhere!