Related:

• ONE THING KIDS LIKE is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to a burned-out warehouse.
  Oh, oh," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke....
• One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse.
  Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke....
• The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys.
  But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it....
• Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger.
  He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure....
• As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch For Rocks.
  Marta said it should read "Watch For PRETTY Rocks....
• If there was a terrible storm outside, but somehow this dog lived through the storm, and he showed up at your door when the storm was finally over, I think a good name for him would be Carl.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out.
  Wait. I guess that's like a regular window. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I bet it was pretty hard to pick up girls if you had the Black Death.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...