Related:

• The Banana Principle: If you buy bananas or avocados before they are ripe, there won't be any left by the time they are ripe.
  If you buy them ripe, they rot before they are eaten....
• Trials never end, of course. Unhappiness and misfortune are bound to occur as long as people live
  but there is a feeling now, that was not here before, and is not just on the surface of things, but penetrates all the way through...
• Just before the battle, Mother, I was thinking most of you. . . -- Sonny Barke
• In the long run, volunteers will be the most expensive workers you ever had.
• The theory used to be that you marry an older man because they are more mature.
  The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one....
• Who invented cottage cheese? And how did they know when they were done?
  It looks like it's already been eaten. Never buy anything you have to order by the size of its curd....
• You may be redneck... if you've ever eaten out of a minnow bucket.
• Fry: That's it! You can only take my money for so long before you take it all and I say enough!
• Most things are better eaten than forgotten.