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• My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers.
  He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was....
• A wino asked me for change. I gave him my shirt...
• The most rewarding part was when he gave me my money. -- Nick Riviera, "The Springfield File
• Neither Papa nor Mama nor the schools taught me about sex, at least not officially.
  I wanted to know, but no one sat down to give me a sex organ recital....
• What do you take me for, an idiot?
  -- General Charles de Gaulle, when a journalist asked him if he was happy...
• WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government.
  In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to....
• I knew that I would be going places, and I just wanted to know where I was when I got there.
• The somewhat old and crusty vicar was taking a well-earned retirement from his rather old and crusty parish.
  As is usual in these cases, a locum was sent to cover the transition period....