Related:

• If you don't write to complain, you'll never receive your order.
  If you do write, you will receive your order before your tacky letter reaches the company....
• Savignano's Mail-Order Law: If you don't write to complain, you'll never receive your order.
  If you do write, you'll receive the merchandise before your angry letter reaches its destination....
• Expect a letter from a friend who will ask a favor of you.
• P.S. If you don't receive this letter, it must have miscarried
  therefore I beg you to write and let me know....
• Manager: Homer, I'm sorry. There's nothing worse than a yellow-bellied freak.
  .. unless that's his act. I expect your letter of resignation on my desk....
• Never write a letter when you are angry. -- Chinese Proverb